The headlines read like sci-fi; the news sounds surreal. We are all using terms that were basically foreign a few months ago: quarantine, shelter in place, COVID-19. These are strange days, indeed.
When we look back on this time, what will we remember?
For me, one of the first things I’ll think of is loss. The loss of life across the world and across our country is staggering.
Our family lost a dear one a few weeks ago: my husband Mart’s brother. He had been battling cancer for months, with him and his wife basically living at MD Anderson since January. Because of COVID-19, we could not be with him in the hospital in his last days, and we have not been able to gather as a family to mourn his loss. We can’t hold each other and cry, and celebrate his life together, and reminisce about the funny things he said, and tell stories. We know, though, thank God, that we will see him again in heaven. But it’s living without him in the meantime that’s so hard.
I remember when I first met him. Mart and I had been dating for several months when I went with him to Mississippi to meet the family and go to his high school reunion. (Ack! No pressure!!) We stayed with Mart’s parents. His brother came over when Mart was out, so he and I had a few minutes to talk. I was a little nervous—would his brother like me? I don’t remember what we said, but he made me laugh, and I relaxed. I think I passed the test.
A few days after he passed away, his daughter gave birth to his and his wife’s first grandchild, a sweet little guy who now bears his granddad’s name. The baby came early, so he’s been spending his first few weeks of life in the NICU. His parents can visit him but no one else, not even his grandmother. Mart and I long for the day when we can meet that sweet little boy, hug his parents tight, and share tears that are mixed with equal parts joy and sadness.
I know that some of you have lost family and friends during this time too. It’s so difficult to fully grieve without being able to be together as a family. My heart goes out to you, too. The psalms tell us that God is near the brokenhearted. He knows grief and suffering first-hand; Easter plainly shows us that.
Please, if I may encourage you to do this: if you don’t believe that God is there or that He cares, please call out to Him in your distress; ask Him to show you that He’s real, and then look for Him to do just that.
There are other losses during this time as well: jobs, income, clients and customers, surgeries and doctor appointments, graduation festivities, school semesters, birthday celebrations, vacation plans, and more.
One major loss for all of us is a sense of normalcy and of normal life, of freedom to come and go as we please, of freedom to meet in groups with people we love, like church families. Freedom to go to the park without finding it closed and to the grocery store with confidence that we’ll be able to get what we need.
I believe it’s important to mark the losses, to acknowledge them, and to grieve them when necessary.
But it’s easy to focus solely on what we’ve lost and sometimes to be pulled under by the weight of it. Instead, let’s take time to think about what we still have. I know from experience that if we are able to do that, it will make a huge difference in how we weather hard times like these.
So, what are you grateful for? Can you come up with five things? 10? Write them down.
Keep them in a special place—a journal, a notebook, your laptop—so you can look at them whenever you get down, discouraged, or anxious. Keep a running list whenever you think of something or make it a daily practice in the morning or before bedtime.
One thing that I am always grateful for, which, if you are a regular reader, won’t surprise you: I’m always grateful for beauty. Springtime is a beautiful time of year to be sequestered at home. Spring is a time of renewal and of hope, of new life, of the joy of Easter we celebrated last week. Not even a virus that has wreaked havoc everywhere could stop it.
If you are able to get outside, do it as often as you can. We are walking every day in our neighborhood and taking deep breaths of fresh life whenever we go outside during the day.
In addition to gratitude, sunshine can make a huge difference in your mood and well-being. So take a walk, or just step outside; breathe deeply, look for beauty, and let your mind rest.
Another thing I’m grateful for is you, my readers. Stay well and healthy, and let me know what you are grateful for too. I would love to hear.
I'm honored that you've taken time out of your day to stop by my blog, Glimsen. Here at Glimsen, I share glimpses of the beauty around us in nature, the arts, and the unexpected. If you like what you see, click the blue button below to receive my posts and updates by email, and you'll also get a free gift of beauty in your inbox (see below). I look forward to connecting with you!
Thank you to Unsplash photographers for the b&w tulips, the baby’s feet, the empty park, and the journal with pen.